Wall in your heart
by Paper Mulberry
Summary: One relationship. Four points of view


_What happened to you  
I can't get to you  
Cause there's a wall  
In your heart  
That no one can get through  
And it's cold and it's dark  
And you don't have a clue  
But this wall it will fall  
If it's the last thing I do___

Why don't you talk to me anymore? What happened that made you shun away so quickly, so unexpected? What caused that pained look in your eyes? I want to know, _need_ to know, but you don't understand, or do you? No, you mustn't, or else you would've talked to me. 

I wished you would come see me. Tell my why you're hurting. I can't live without knowing, and you know that, but still you ingore me, you _avoid_ me. You've never done that before, not even when you were so embarassed after you'd kissed me. 

So what happened now. Tell me, you must. I won't tell on you, no matter what you've done. I won't disrespect your choices, if you made the wrong one. I won't laugh at you, if you've done something stupid. I will _listen_ to you, like I've always done. I won't even tell you my opion to the matter, only if you want me to. And we'll sit there afterwards, in companiable silence, a small smile of relief gracing your lips. 

~

_Rage on, rage on my brother  
Time to lay down my arms  
You know that it's wrong for me to go on  
There's a madman singing down in the alley___

No, no, don't say anything more. I don't want to hear it. I can't believe you told me. I know it troubled you, I could clearly see that, but you know how I feel about his.

I should've hit you. Should've made you shut up somehow, but I couldn't. I'm your friend after all. But this, _this_, is wrong, even I can see it.

What made you do it. You don't think, you never did. You always act and think later. It's so you that sometimes it makes me disgusted. We tried to teach you to think first, but you wouldn't have it, because it has always saved you before. _Why change it?_ you said. 

Well, it certainly didn't save you now. You're hurt, and for once you are entirely to blame. I can't bring you any comfort, no one can. You have to figure this out for yourself. I'm curious to know how you're going to wriggle yourself out of this situation. 

~

_We talked for hours at a time   
Then I came to my senses   
You're more than a friend   
You're my perfect lover   
  
I'll never be all you want me to   
But that's all right   
  
I'm gonna make you love me   
I'm gonna dry your tears   
And we're gonna stay together   
For a million years_

How could I have been so stupid? I should have _known_. It was so obvious, but I just couldn't see it. Why am I so oblivious to everything?

Of course you wouldn't like me. I should have realised that I'm not worthy of you. If I searched for beautiful in the dictionary, I would see a picture of you. _Oh god_, I didn't just think that, did I? I probably should start writing romance novels. I would be marvellous at that. 

But I love you, and I can't change that, wouldn't want to change that. I know I will have to talk to you eventually, but I'll postpone it as long as I can. I can't face you right now, can't face anyone, really. 

I just hope, that when I have the nerve to face you, you will understand why I've done what I did. 

~

_You're all that was there  
Stood by on believing  
Stood by on my own  
Always thought I was someone  
Turned out I was wrong  
  
You brought me through  
And you made me feel  
  
So blue  
Why don't you stay behind  
So blue  
Why don't you stop and look at what's going down_

I never meant to hurt you. You left so quickly, that I couldn't explain. It's not that I don't love you, it's that I do. But I'm not ready to feel this. I don't _want _to feel this. But you don't understand. You've always been thickheaded. 

If you would just come back, and let me finish, then it might be alright. We might go back to being friends, it might even turn out to be more, in the end. But you have to give me time. Give me time to explain myself, to get used to this, give me time to figure out how to love. 

Did you want me down on my knees as soon as you told me. Did you want to see me crying with happiness. Because I could have done, it just wouldn't have been true. But then, you might've believed me, I have been a good actor after all.

I told you the truth, and it hurt you. 

~

_I don't know what day it is,   
I can't recall the seasons  
And I don't remember how we got this far  
All I know is I'm loving you for all the right reasons  
In my sky you'll always be my morning star_

"I'm sorry."

"No really, I am. I should have told you the truth right away."

"I should've given you the time."

"Are we okay now?"

"If that's alright with you? I would very much like us to be friends again."

"So would I."

A soft smile gracing his lips. The sight of an angel.

An embarassed shrug. "I uhm – I love you."

Uncertain eyes look up. Green locks on grey.

"You do? I mean, I love you too."

"What a lovely pair we make, don't you think? Before you know it we both will start crying."

"Oh _please_. So – now what?"

A smirk lightens up his face more.

"I can certainly think of some things."

Color rises to his cheeks, a shy smile appearing on his lips.


End file.
